Easy-To-Go Funny and Scientific Recipe for Chicken Tikka

Hello friends, Today I am giving you some tips regarding “Funny and Scientific Recipe for Chicken Tikka”. You can learn here, How to Prepare Chicken Tikka.

Protocol for Preparing Chicken Tikka by a Pharmacologist

You want to host your friends at your place, woo your better half by making something special or try something damn tasty and spicy while being alone at home – this recipe will be a winner. Moreover, it will bring some laughs while reading

Funny and Scientific Recipe for Chicken Tikka:-

Warming Up:

• Get up in the morning with a positive frame of mind. You need to feel good on this particular day. It’s going to be a long and exhausting day.
• Go to aSupermarket that is located far from your house, so that you can have a long walk or cycle ride. It will help you to get warmed up – testosterone levels will go up and you will be in good mood, which is very critical to prepare the item.
• Get chicken breast or fillet. Try to go with your guy-friends (or on your own) for shopping – you can have the freedom to check out beautiful girls at the supermarket, which will further lighten up your mood.
• Avoid use of Cannabis or PDE5 inhibitor on the day. They might make you hyper-excited and you need to stay cool and calm on this day.

Essential Stuff:

• Plain Greek Yogurt(NO, I am not being Racist)
• Chicken Masala, Tandoori Masala/Mix or Chicken Tikka (BBQ) Mix/Masalarom Shan, Everest, MDH or Laziza (they don’t pay me to promote their stuff though; however if you click on the ads on this page – that do help EduMovLive team to write entertaining and intellectual stuff)
• Sodium chloride(NaCl) – you can find that in the supermarket with the name as Salt or Zout (in Dutch)
• Ginger and Garlic Pastes. You can get them at supermarket or grocery stores.
• Chilli Powder(preferably Extra Hot)
• Mango Pickle(preferably made by your Maa or Nani)
• Garam Masala(literally means Hot Spices)
• Coriander Powder
• Black Pepper
• 2 large red onions and 3 capsicums (peppers – red, green and yellow: colour selection is very important) and lemons (don’t go for lime juice unless you are too lazy)
• A bottle of Red Wine (preferably 3 years old with 13.5% alcohol content e.g. Shiraz, Merlot or others )
• Music Player or Radio (in your kitchen); avoid using ear/head-phones (for health & safety reasons)

Now Let’s Get Started:

1. Play music (Bollywood songs for best results – it will help you to get into the mood), take a deep breath

   

   (I know you must be exhausted after shopping all those stuff), drink plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated (it’s still going to be a long day). Here is such a YouTube playlist.

2. Cut the chicken breast into small pieces (try to make them look cubes) and wash them thoroughly in running water
3. Put the yogurt in a big bowl (For 1 kg chicken you will need 500 g of yogurt)
4. Add 4 tablespoons of ginger paste and 6 tablespoons of garlic paste to the yogurt and mix
5. Add NaCl (2 spoons), chilli powder (4 spoons), black pepper (1/2 spoon), coriander powder (4 spoons), garam masala (4 spoons), pickle (2 spoons), mango pickle (2 spoons; do add two spoons of the pickle oil) and 20 ml of cooking oil (sunflower or vegetable) and mix again
6. Add chicken masala (60 g or 100gm if you want it very spicy) and BBQ/Tikka/Tandoori Masala (40 gm) and mix thoroughly and let it settle for 10-20 minutes (the ratio needs to be 3:2)
7. Now, pour some red wine into a glass and drink, and relax. You need to take breaks (just like the coffee breaks in the lab). Wine will help you to get into a creative mood. If you are a smoker (I hope not), smoke one now – nicotine will be released in your blood and it will inhibit the re-uptake of dopamine in the brain. As a result, the dopamine levels will go up and your mood will be elevated further.
8. Now drink some water and add the chicken pieces to the yogurt mix, and mix thoroughly
9. Keep the chicken with yogurt mix for 4-5 hours for optimal effect (you can get away with 1 hour also, if you’re running late – it’s not the lab experiment, so you can get away with shorter incubation)
10. Preheat your oven to 200°C
11. Put aluminum foil on the tray
12. Take 2 tablespoons of butter, melt it in microwave and spread on the aluminium foil thoroughly
13. Put the marinated chicken pieces on the foil. Try to keep them with some spaces among them.This is one of the steps during which you might want to kill yourself (just like listening to a boring talk towards the end of the day). But, don’t lose focus, take some deep breaths, try push-ups and dips, and you can do it. You can also try fat burning exercise of Jordan Yeoh. Lot of videos is there and my favorite is the Weekend Workout – 3 minutes Body weight Routine; after all you will gain some body weight after consuming this dish. Here is the link for his official website.
14. Put the tray in the oven for 25 minutes (180°C)
15. In the meantime, drink water and take another glass of red wine.
16. Now cut the onions in 2 mm (very important) fine circular pieces (don’t cut your fingers); and the peppers in square pieces
17. After 20 minutes, take the tray out of the oven. Invert the chicken pieces (don’t miss out any single piece, another step that will demand extreme concentration and self-motivation)
18. Now add little bit of leftover of the yogurt mix (hopefully you will have some) on the top of the chicken pieces
19. Add melted butter on top of the pieces now
20. Add onions, coriander leaves and peppers on the top of the chicken pieces; maintain a uniform distribution
21. Put the tray back in the oven and grill it for another 30 minutes (150°C); and go for another round of wine. Hmmm…… well grab a Latte this time. Here is a great video for making a great Latte.
22. Switch off the grill after 30 minutes
23. Let the tray stay in the oven for 5-10 minutes and drink some water
24. Take the tray out of the oven
25. Sprinkle lemon all over (in optimum quantity) and serve hot

P.S. This is the protocol that I normally follow during the House Parties. Deviation from the protocol might result in devastating outcomes (ranging from abuse and/or physical violence from the guests). If your guests like the food, do acknowledge me. If they don’t, take the blame on yourself!!! To be honest, my friends do enjoy this recipe very much as you can see the pic below 🙂

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